so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
