Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
