I think i sorta joined a cult last night
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
