AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
