Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
