the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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