U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The air was thick with penises
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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