I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
