just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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