Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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