fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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