Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
