You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
