you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize