I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
