I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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