you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
