We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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