Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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