I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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