nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
