hotel room ftw
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
