he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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