just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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