bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
