sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
