sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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