And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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