At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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