Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
In other news, I just burned my penis
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
