Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
