it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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