living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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