Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
