Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
