During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.đź’¨
Randomize
