i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
