i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
