wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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