The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
