According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
