Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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