Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize