I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
did i walk over a car last night?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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