Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
