I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
