i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Small penises have feelings too.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
