is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize