shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
