We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
