You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
