I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
