So drunk, too bad you don't want this
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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