tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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