Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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