Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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