I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
