I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
