i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
