My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
