You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Of course I have a pirate flag
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dick very happy bro
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
