apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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