I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
