How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
