I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just had sex on a roof
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
