I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize