I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize