how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just googled if crying burns calories
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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