i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
